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Did you notice the similarity in a woman’s “I will be ready in five minutes” and man’s “I will be home in five minutes” are completely the same? In this case, their minutes are proportionally big!

Tourism is the next big thing. All countries are attracting their tourists with their taglines: Amazing Thailand, Incredible India, Truly Asia…
Syria’s tagline might be – Have a blast, it might be your last!

In the gym: “I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?”, a man asks the trainer.
Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”

I bought a new printer because it’s cheaper than ink refills. Now I think about how long until new cars are cheaper than fuel.

Never steal. The government hates competition.

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … now read without the word dog.

If I’ve learnt anything from Mayans then it’s that..not finishing a project is not the end of the world.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

I still miss my ex – but guess what? My aim is getting better

Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.

My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”

A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution?? I sent them to her dad.

A women saying, “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “you won’t feel a thing”.

Love WhatsApp Messages

You are like a bright sun as your blazing love can even make the stars fade away. Good morning, dearest!

There’s only 1 thing 2 do, write 3 words 4 you – I Love You.

Being able to have you by my side is a blessing only a few have, I feel like the luckiest man in the world for getting to know you and for winning your love.

I can no longer say how big my love for you is, I’ve already used all the words and phrases, all I can do is send this message saying that I love you.

To live, I need air,
For life, I need a heartbeat
To have a good heart, I need love,
And to feel loved, I need YOU!

My love is genuine that is sure,
and so is yours, white and pure.
Your loving smile on that pretty face,
no one will ever take your place!

Hey!
I was calling you but the operator said the girl you are calling is an angel and it’s not possible to call heaven this time

Wanting you is easy missing you is hard.
Wishing you was with me wrapped up in my arms.
Constantly think of you when we are apart.
I’ve got the padlock you have the key to my heart.

Someone asked me how was life, and I just smiled and responded: “She’s fine”.

Every day I can’t stop my smile,
When I see your message in my mobile,
So please keep messaging at least once in a while,
and help me keep that smile.

Ask if I need you & I’ll say forever,
Ask if I’ll leave you & the answer is Never
Ask what do you cherish and my answer is YOU,
Say that you love me and I’ll say I love you too

My mind is fully occupied with your
cute childish activities and your sweet smile.
I can’t take back my eyes from you
as it is addicted towards you.
Even my heart is not listening to me;
It is throbbing only for you.

Your beauty is the capital of the business. My eyes are stock in trade.
Let us enter into transaction, you secretly give me a trade discount,
I openly give you a cash discount and thus my partner, our trading
and the profit-loss account will show a net profit.

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves,

What is love? In math: an equation; in history: a war; in chemistry: a reaction; in art: a heart; in me: YOU.

When I am older and my daughter asks who my first love was, I don’t want to pull out the old photo album. I want to be able to point out across my room and say, “He’s sitting right over there.”

You and me make a wonderful WE.

In vain,have I struggled? It will not do. My feeling will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

Love is cute when it’s new, but love is most beautiful when it last.

Cool Whatsapp Messages

From the moment I saw you, I knew I will spend my life avoiding you.

How much do you love me, a girl asks.
Look at the stars and count them, that’s how much, replies a boy.
But, it’s morning…
Exactly.

You are a BITCH
Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Hilarious

Awesome ends with me and ugly starts with u.

If you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d.

A lie is just a great story ruined by the truth.

I want to kill the hottest person alive… but suicide is a crime!

Do not drink and drive or you might spill the drink.

Save paper, don’t do homework.

Congratulations!!My tallest finger wants to give you a standing ovation.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

Coffee, chocolate, men…some things are just better rich.

I’d explain it to you but I’m afraid your head might explode.

You’re pretty close to perfect when you’re standing next to me.

Well, enough about me, let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?

I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable!

I’m nobody, nobody’s perfect, so – I’m perfect.

WhatsApp is using me!

I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in horrific bills.

Friendship Whatsapp Messages

Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.

Best friends loan out DVDs knowing that they’ll never be seen again.

Waters may dry.Flowers may die. But true friends never say goodbye.

We didn’t realize we were making memories, we were just having fun.

Friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.

Friendship isn’t a big thing — it’s a million little things.

There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship.

No road is long with good company.

The most valuable antique is an old friend.

Friends are our chosen family.

When worse comes to worst; my girls come first.

A best friend, you’ll fight with but never stay mad at.

A good friend like you is hard to find, hard to lose and trust me you are unable to forget.

True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.

A friend is one who knows all about you and loves you just the same.

Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.

I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.

A true friend isn’t the one who helps you the most but helps you when you need it the most.

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.

Whatsapp Status

Only you can change yourself, no one else can

One of the reasons why I love you is b’coz you make me smile for no reason.

You`ll never be perfect. But you`ll always be unique

hard times will always reveal the real friends..

Friends will come and friends will go. But true friends stick on forever

Falling in love is like the rain … Its unpredictable!

Sometimes, the wrong choices take us to the right places.

My attitude is based on how you treat me.

Love is cute when its new, but love is most beautiful when it last.

Raaste ki parwah karunga…to MANZIL bura maan jayegi…!!

Lost time is never found again.

I’ll always catch you when you think you are about to fall…

Don’t compare me with anyone…. I am original

My dream is to fly..over a rainbow..so high..

Love is just love, it can never explained.

You are the reason why I smile, I love, I breath, I live

I enjoy when people shows attitude to me

You should never play with someones heart!!!

Totally available!! Please disturb me!!??

My life ,my rule,that’s my attitude…

I am not a king but my love is Queen

I Found the Way to Love everyone But I didnt learn the way to Feel Others LOVE to me.

I can die happy now, because I have seen a piece of heaven “Its U”

I believe in love at first sight, No need to walk in again.

Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

I know I dont have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel talk.

There are so many people in the world but in my world there is only one person and thats you.

You like sleeping? Me too

Boys are like purses: Cute, full of crap and can always be replaced.

My stars said I would meet the woman of my dreams tonight.

I love the way you walk, talk and laugh.

I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine.

I dont need to dream, I got you!

All the birds in the sky, all the fish in the sea, will never explain what you mean to me.

I LOVE the way you HURT me!

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent

Let make it short and simple, I love you.

Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

If you were a tear, i would never cry in fear of losing you..

Sold My Soul to You ♥

scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status

Dont judge someones life until youve felt their pain

Sometimes, the wrong choices take us to the right places.

Time, you cant keep it, but you can spend it.

My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.

My attitude is based on how you treat me.

Hey there whatsapp is using me

Better to b alone than being wid sme1 who makes u feel alone…

Im not lazy, Im on energy saving mode

Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.

Keep it simple, keep it honest, keep it real.

My room + internet connection + music + food – homework = perfect day

Live♀,Laugh☺,Love♥

Status under construction.. comming soon…

Nothing is lost until mom cant find it.

Please dont interrupt me while Im ignoring you

If things go wrong, dont go with them

life is a sweet music ….just play it…

Life is short, why to waste in updating Status..

My life ,my rule,thats my attitude..

Love is beautiful mistake of my life.

Whenever I find the key to success , someone changes the lock…

Love in your heart brings life to your soul.

I need a Google in my mind and an Anti-virus in my heart

Keep Your Attitude In Your Pocket I Have My own

Ill do what I like, when I like, wherever I like, with whoever I like, however I like..because I like!!!

I love hearing rumors about myself,most of the time, its stuff I didnt even know about myself

My personality stays within me wherever I am.

My attitude depends on the people in front of me.

If people have a problem with you, always remember, it is THEIR problem.

Life is very difficult when we are true to Everyone..!

Theres lovely person between Y and I on your keyboard….just look

Promises mean everything, but after they are broken, sorry means nothing.

Common sense is not so common

Always trying to cool my self

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The hell was full so i come back soon

We are like diamonds in the sky

hello!Problems where are you looking I am here.

Hi there! I am using my brain!

Status is still loading.

Google on my mind

Its hard to being a superwoman

You are my favorite reason to lose my sleep.

Thanks for being in my life

Never too busy to be happy 🙂

Life is journey. I am traveller.

Love Is My Favorite Mistake

Love can happens only once.. Next time its only Compromise.

So far, but I love you always

I dont care because you not fair

Some mistakes should be committed one time

Follow your heart and see where you land.

Forgiving is not always forgetting, but forgetting is always forgiving

Life without mistakes is like , education without books.

Teachers Only Teach The Rules… But Winners, Winners Make The Rules.

If u love someone time and distance never be a problem

Love is game for liars and pain for shayars.

Live life fully, no place for hate, only love.

A person needs a clean reputation to survive…………….!!

Have a good time 🙂

Life must go on 🙂

Dreams are just the brain’s Screensavers.

Education is the powerful weapon to chance the world.

Distance is everything

One of the biggest challenges we have, folks, is making liberty and freedom cool.

Secrets…are the very root of cool

life is simple if we are simple….

love is life no love no life

Love is not about posssession, Love is about appreciation

Life is simple, people are complicated…

Sometimes, you have to smile to hold back the tears.

If you like fizzy drink you will love me!

Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.

Waiting for wi-fi network.

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition

Again Single, but with Experience.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

My attitude will always be based on how you treat me.

Life is short talk fast

Sorry vegiterians we can’t pretend

Jidhar apna CRUSH hai , udhar hich sala RUSH hai and filhaal timepass k liye only CANDYCRUSH he

Life is too short. Dont waste it copying my watsapp status….

My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.

Always remember you are UNIQUE………… just like everybody else

So far, but I love you always

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Intelligence is like underwear. Its important that you have it but theres no need to show it off.

Xcuse me..I found something under my shoes. .ohh its your Attitude