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Funny WhatsApp Status for Geeks

SI unit of ignorance = “seen”

Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.

Eat…sleep….Gym…Code…repeat.

There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-vegetarian & Tuesday Saturday.

An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion.

I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.

I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day.

In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.

I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition.

I had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples.

When I actually die some people are going to get really haunted.

Life is short…smile while you still have teeth.

Light travels faster than sound…that’s why people appear bright until they speak.

People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.

80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.

Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife. 😉

Jidhar apna CRUSH hai , udhar hich sala RUSH hai and filhaal timepass k liye only CANDYCRUSH he….

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.

One wise guy invented mobile application ‘Whatsapp’…..and his wife added ‘last seen’ feature.

I’m poor. I can’t pay ATTENTION in Class room.

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

Dear Mario…..I Wasted My Childhood Trying To Save Your Girlfriend.Now, you help me to save mine.

I love to walk in Fog, Because nobody knows i am Smoking

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-vegetarian & Tuesday Saturday.

Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife

Life is too short, don’t waste it by reading other WhatsApp statuses

HEY THERE, WHATSAPP IS USING ME

Most of the fruits I know now and did not know were existed – Is only because of the shampoo

Love is like fart. If you force it, It’s probably shit.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well

Zombies are looking for brain, don’t worry you’re safe

Lays company is so generous that they gift some wafers along with the Air!!

I will marry to a girl who look pretty in her Aadhar card.

You are so awesome that, my middle finger salutes you.

Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a referee.

Dry fruits are just fruits that have become senior citizens.

You can use my bad English as your funny status

I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.

I love my job only when I’m on vacation .

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not 😛

I Wonder What Happens When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day 🙂 🙂

Who cares ?????………..I’m awesome… 😀

Hey, You are reading my status again??

Life is short… Smile while you still have teeth. 😀

Hmmmm…..Don’t copy my status. 😛

AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.

When you are on a 1% battery anyone who sends a message, Or calling, Becomes the enemy ..

Most of the fruits I know now and did not know were existed – Is only because of the shampoo

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.

A man is as young as the woman he feels.

I am currently experiencing life at the rate of 15 WTF’s every hours

I’m not sarcastic, I am just intelligent beyond your understanding.

Love is like fart. If you force it, It’s probably shit.

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.

A relationship is made for two, but some bitches are bad in math.

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

Zombies are looking for brain, don’t worry you’re safe.

I will marry to a girl who look pretty in her voter id card.

When your girlfriend picks a restaurant that is very costly, you just say “Oh yeah, that’s where the really cute
girl works”.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Problem with this generation is we first search for a Lover & then fall in Love.

Hello madam, do you want Credit Card? Girl: No thanks, I have a Boyfriend.

I’ve given up the search for reality; now I’m just looking for a good fantasy.

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely
stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

There is a fine line between fashion and circus. So where’s the tent.

Man, I sure do hate a bag of air with chips in it.

I love parents’ way of saying you have got a point “Don’t talk back at me!!”

Good girls are bad girls, who never get caught.

I didn’t change, I just woke up.

You are so awesome that, my middle finger salutes you.

Silence is better than lies.

I am not lazy, I just rest before I tired.

Be what you want to be, not what other wants to see.

If “Plan A” didn’t work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters.

Do what is “Right”, not what is “Easy”.

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

I’m not perfect, I am original.

All girls are my sisters except you.

I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.

Before you judge me, Make sure that you’re perfect.

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

You can do anything, but not everything.

Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a referee.

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.

I don’t always have time to study… but when I do, I don’t.

Sometimes you just need some space, to fart.

At least mosquitoes are attracted to me.

I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is weight.

Dry fruits are just fruits that have become senior citizens.

When you drop your phone, your heart hits the ground before your phone does.

That moment when even Caps Lock can’t express your anger.

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!

Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..

A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”

When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

We live in world of smart phones and stupid people.

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

Some people have relationships and some people have vodka.

God must love stupid people- he made so many.

I’m not afraid of going to hell because all my friends will be there.

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

Excuse me …. Please empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.

I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

If I’ve learnt anything from mayans then it’s that Not finishing a project is not the end of world.

A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

We men want the same thing from women that we want from underwear.Some support and some freedom.

Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.

Last seen 1980! 😀

God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me! 🙂

I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins. 😀

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

I love my job only when I’m on vacation…..

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

Life is Short – Chat Fast!

If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

How can i miss something i never had?

Hey there whatsapp is using me.

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!

Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..

If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.

Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…

Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped 🙂

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!

Save water drink beer.

6 Peg Loading .. 😀

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it

Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me 😛

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

Life is too short smile while you still have teeth…

My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂

I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

I Like to study.. Arithmetic – NO … world history – NO …. chemistry – NO …. GIRLS – YES!!!

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! 😛

People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p

In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!

C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping 🙂

Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)

Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.

Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀

Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry 🙂

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 🙂

There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh

Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.

I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough 😉

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz

The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight 🙂

I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ……. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” 🙂

Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.

Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31

I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. 🙂

GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.

I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep 🙂

Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) 🙂

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED 🙂

I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 🙂

Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.

Funny Status Quotes for Whatsapp Facebook

Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.

I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. 😀

Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. 🙂

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either 🙂

Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.

I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions 🙂

I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice 🙂

If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂

I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them 🙂

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.